Conquer your fears....

I was late to work today......I was at the Marriott in downtown Portland....at an open-call....for the Next Food Network Star! Our local paper ran a piece about the casting call for one of my fave TV shows on Tuesday, so ever since I downloaded the 12-page application, I've been knee-deep in answering questions about myself and my love of cooking. The application was very detailed and some of the questions were a tiny bit hard to answer - because, although I know what I can cook and what I like to cook, putting into words why, was new.
Anyway....I've been a little stressed out since Tuesday and decided to go to the call, then not to go to the call about 27 times. But I had just told my daughter last weekend (when she was apprehensive about a social event), that if she let fear of the unknown stop her from doing things in life, she'd never do anything. Well, what kind of a role model would I be if I only talked the talk but didn't walk the walk? Plus, I'd already filled out all 12 pages of that flippin' application - so, like, I pretty much HAD to go to the casting call!
I was at the hotel by 6:45 this morning - and the shindig was to start at 9 (contrary to the paper listing it at 10). I sat in the lobby for quite a while, listening to the radio and I put my name on a list when I was able. At about 8:25, I went up to a conference room to wait with a few of the other 'cookies' till it was time to be interviewed. I was to be 'number 8', so I knew I'd be outta there and back to work before too, too long.
All kinds of people showed up to try out for the show. The old woman with the ultra-tan, orange make-up and 4-pack-a-day voice was a real treat. If the super tall dude in the chef's whites had dressed to intimidate, he'd accomplished his goal. One guy oozed ego and smug-ability enough that you figured he'd HAVE to be cast because every reality show has to have 'the guy you love to hate', right? Some people just had that TV 'look', like, you could totally picture watching them on your TV screen. People were, skinny, fat, gay, straight and every color of the rainbow. There was a dude with the longest pony tail I've ever seen. Some people were way older than I'd have ever thought would try out for something like this although I don't know what age has to do with it. I guess I feel like most of the people I've seen in the previous 4 seasons have been about 40 or younger - but several today were easily 50+. All in all, Portland gave the casting folks a good mix.
The first gal - who'd come down from Seattle, went in for her interview at about 8:50. I was glad things got under way early...less 'personal time' away from work. By the time I went in, it was about 10:00. The gal who spoke to me was really nice - very personable. She asked me lots of things that were in the application. Why do I want to be the "Next Food Network Star"? What kinds of things do I like to cook? What's my 'style'? What are some of my 'signature' dishes? I felt I'd answered the questions well enough and we had a nice chat. Before I knew it, I was walking to the door with the gal and she thanked me for coming and told me she and the other casting girl would be discussing 'possible hopefuls' and they'd be calling those people tonight to return for their 'call-back' tomorrow. I thanked her in return, walked out the door and headed for the elevators admid a hallway lined with other poeple still nervous for their own interview.
On my way back to the office, all I could think of was "why didn't I say this ?"and "why didn't I tell them that?" I came to the conclusion that it was really hard to remember anything I'd said at all and that I must have just vomitted blabbity words for the entire interview. Oh well, even if I was totally fine, I'm sure I won't be one of the 'lucky ones' this evening. That's not me being Polly Pouter, that's me wallowing in my total ordinary-ness. Yeah...I think I'm just too regular, normal and ordinary to be on a show that usually has a more colorful cast. Among them - the competitive, controling bitch, the guy who's a gigantic ass and thinks he's God's gift to everything culinary, the catering assistant who wants to show up their boss back home by showcasing their own creations. True, true a cooking-mom does shows up now and then, and I suppose my chance is as good as any other mom's. But - I'm not gonna freak out tonight waiting for my phone to ring, because, already got what I went for.
I conquered a fear today. I tried my best to show strangers who I was for no other reason than to promote myself, really. That's what an 'audition' is right? A chance to show people that you're totally awesome and that you're exactly what they're looking for? Sounds so snotty and conceited that way doesn't it? Oh well....If The Food Network doesn't find me to be good enough, I know a few people who do ;-)
Thank you to my family and friends who always tell me I can do anything! Today, I did!